Money and Life

I surprised myself today, I discovered I can be bought. I can be bought to do or go through almost anything. It’s scary.

How do I know this? The settlement money cleared my account today. Thirteen million dollars. I have my bank’s website open in another window right now, and there it is. $13,004,244. Before today that account was four digits shorter, and here’s the stupid thing, those four digits actually make me feel better. When I saw them and it sunk in that I actually was getting that much settlement (my lawyer is amazing, Dave if you ever read this I love you) I, for a moment at least, was totally ok being a horsebeast.

Of course, then I had to leave the house and the money seemed to satisfy me less. I still felt better though! I got my mail, and once again avoided my neighbors as much as possible. No one knows it’s me and I actually prefer that. I had to buy groceries though so I headed toward the most liberal side of town and hoped at least one other morph would be there.

There was! A somewhat attractive female raccoon, although her presence was comforting it caused one of my new bodies’ downsides to act up. I had to concentrate especially hard on a jar of applesauce to avoid embarrassment or ruined jeans (I’ve never ruined pants that way, but I’m terrified that I could).

One of the things they told me was to avoid too much meat. My new body would prefer vegetables, grains and carbs in general. So of course while I was there I bought two steaks and a beef roast because they ain’t taking away my dead cow! I cooked the steaks for lunch and ate them both, no sides just steak and BBQ sauce.

I’m writing this after having just downed 4 antacids… I’m starting to hate this body more again.