A Free Man (horse)
After the excitement and then depression of yesterday I woke up happy again this morning. I feel like I only have so much enthusiasm and it just isn’t enough to make it the whole way through the day.
Today though, I got to do something I’d only dreamed of before. I called into the office and told them I wasn’t returning from my short term disability (getting the wrong gene therapy and becoming a horse-human is a disability in the insurance company’s mind, I won’t argue).
So now when my disability period ends in two weeks I’m also officially unemployed. My settlement means I’m free to be my own horse, and it’s helping me find the humor in my situation.
Take my shower for instance, I fill the entire hair trap twice per shower now. Even with short fur on my body it takes ten times longer to get clean. (I’m told with this physique I wouldn’t need to shower every day… But I can smell the horse after a day and I don’t like the reminder. I’d rather smell like tropical rainforest than barnyard.)
One of the greatest embarrassments is when using the toilet though (sorry to whoever reads this later, I feel it’s better to just share all the experiences). Because whoever ordered the gene splice I got was an idiot, my genitalia are very horse and not very human. To be blunt, if I’m sitting on the toilet my penis won’t easily point between my legs into the bowl. The only “civilized” way is to slightly arouse myself, then make sure it’s in the bowl as I sit. It’s horribly uncomfortable, but it works. I’m going to look into something better soon.
Actually, I think I’ll look now and call this a night.